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After Nano

  • Dec. 4th, 2009 at 7:54 AM
Hot nerd
So, after all my hard work to try and write 50,000 words, I sign on past midnight November 30th and find I can't submit.

I guess I didn't read the rules thoroughly enough.

And I didn't make 50,000 words, but the last week we had too much going on at work and to much in my personal life to even get on the computer, much less turn hand-written pages into Word documents.

However, with the turmoil at work mostly over, and the stress of Nano behind me, I started working on a new idea.

Female!Kurogane and Fai. They didn't get enough closure/love/whatever-term-you-like at the end of Tsubasa, and somehow the way the idea began had Kurogane firmly female, and Fai male (but still utterly Fai - i.e. often more feminine and graceful than most girls), and Fai unintentionally entering her world and wrecking her plans for adulthood.

More will be explained as I actually get the story past paper.

But I'm quite thrilled with how far the story has revealed itself to me (far beyond where I had planned on it going or even progressing) so that's exciting to have a new project past Oddballs - once I finish Oddballs.

I may actually wait to be finished with this one before posting it. That would be a turning point for me with my writing. =)

In other news, Oddballs should be finished by the end of the year!! Almost all the words have been written, though not all the series have been wrapped up (that may be "100 Situations Encore Edition").

But I'm so excited. I think I started in... November of '06. More than three years ago.
Wow. Thanks for sticking with me!!

Watanuki?!

  • Nov. 23rd, 2009 at 6:32 PM
Clever
Still working on Nanowrimo, though I think I'm not going to make it... I don't get Thanksgiving off. Sigh.

But reading Kobato, I got a sudden shock. I know he's from Suki (CLAMP), but he looks like a grown-up version of Watanuki!! He could totally compete with Doumeki if he grew up to be like this:

Watanuki look-alike
Watanuki, right?

Umbrella
Still looks like him



Writing (or the apparent lack of)

  • Oct. 4th, 2009 at 10:44 PM
Clever
Strangely, I hadn't noticed that my last few posts have been poetry. I actually only write poetry when I have the chance to be outside and relaxed - and that happens very rarely with my pace of life.

Instead, I've been doing actual writing. (Shock!)
There are 4-5 notebooks just full of my next chapters, for nearly every story I've started... but the date for which they will get to the computer and then edited for online viewing is not so near.

If I had a tiny laptop like in those commercials, or even just a simple typewriter to use at work, things would probably get off paper more quickly. But though I use two keyboards just to do my job every day, we're not allowed to plug in USB drives. Something about legal issues and sensitive information.

Like I'm interested in stealing someone's identity. Please. I have enough of a time being me, I don't need to get in legal trouble as someone else. Or over someone else.

But before I knew of this rule, I did write at work... and so the crowds (hopefully there's a crowd) got updates. Now... it's enough for me to write each night, go to sleep in the morning, and then run after kids most other afternoons.

I'm not married; not a parent. Why am I running after kids, again? 

Oh yeah, I love them.

On bad days I wish I didn't care about people so much. Think of all the work I could get done! All the music I could listen to, the books I haven't read! And then my writing would suck, most likely.

So I'll toddle off and try to finish my newest plot bunny from Ouran/Oddballs. I swear, each time I promise myself I will only write the first chapter as a stand-alone, someone begs for more, some new idea emerges, and I have a waiting disaster on my hands.

NOT THIS TIME!!! MWU HA HA!

Update: There is a sequel. I am stuck eating my words yet again...

xXxhoLic: my weakness

  • May. 30th, 2009 at 10:25 AM
Upset
I cried my eyes out through chapters 180-182.
I should have expected it of CLAMP; was expecting it, but while I could imagine Yuuko dying, I hadn't imagined Watanuki. Watanuki's broken heart or his despair as he's helpless, once again, to stop the people he cares about from leaving him.

Yuuko all but gave him life, friends, family, a home, a purpose, joy... I only have just realized how much Yuuko meant to him, and though he played it off, Watanuki has obviously always known he cared about her.

I think if I'd known I would cry through the xxxhoLic and Tsubasa series as much as I did Honey and Clover, I might have tried not to get so emotionally invested in the characters.

It probably wouldn't have worked, though...

P.S. I'm back! Thailand was beautiful.

Bursting of Joy, of Words

  • Feb. 19th, 2009 at 10:45 PM
Clever
And what words can we use to declare Your Majesty?
What dance can give proper praise?
What song, what notes, can tell of Your Beauty, Your Love -
How great are the ways You've given us to express
But still, unexpressable when faced with the reality of You.
    You, who conquered death itself.
    You, who love beyond all borders, limits, reason and understanding.
    You, whose greatness is beyond all worth.
Angels sing and praise because it is all
Eternity not enough for what you deserve.
We serve a good, good God!
    Rejoice!
    Rejoice, all suns, moons and stars!
    Rejoice, all you who have breath.
For the King, your Creator, loves you!
Timeless One, I cannot fit you into my time
but must throw myself into the ocean of your love,
trusting the drowning will bring life.
Glory of God, come down to earth, swallow us whole.
Holy Fire, fall on us.
Wind, sweep us from all that is known
Into You, our Great Mystery of Mercy.
Anointing Oil, set us apart, to life greater than dreams,
Life that goes without end.
Jesus' blood never fails me.
So sing, all notes, to the praise of the One who made you.

Not mine, but helpful reminders

  • Dec. 19th, 2008 at 3:01 AM
Hot nerd

How To Be a Poet
by Wendell Berry

Make a place to sit down.
Sit down. Be quiet.
You must depend upon
affection, reading, knowledge,
skill—more of each
than you have—inspiration,
work, growing older, patience,
for patience joins time
to eternity. Any readers
who like your poems,
doubt their judgment.

Breathe with unconditional breath
the unconditioned air.
Shun electric wire.
Communicate slowly. Live
a three-dimensioned life;
stay away from screens.
Stay away from anything
that obscures the place it is in.
There are no unsacred places;
there are only sacred places
and desecrated places.

Accept what comes from silence.
Make the best you can of it.
Of the little words that come
out of the silence, like prayers
prayed back to the one who prays,
make a poem that does not disturb
the silence from which it came.
 

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Mid-Autumn Festival

  • Sep. 15th, 2008 at 1:37 AM
Resigned

The moon was bright tonight (duh), and as my father had given me a moon cake to celebrate my partial heritage, I realized I had to write about the moon... and a lot of other things. This is long, so I apologize to those that have not yet converted to poetry.

Autumn Heritage
Moon so bright;
It's your night.
Autumn's here,
Have great cheer.
Night come on bold
Fear not the cold.
Moon cake in hand,
How can I stand?
White gaze lingers;
I stretch out fingers.
Chinese eyes
Watch and sigh.
Years on years
Those old seers,
Poem-punch drunk;
Our history shrunk
Into a moment
Away from torment
Onto a scroll, cry
Of lonely beauty tried,
Tested. Star-lovers
Cross again, covered
by clouds tonight.
Still shines so bright.
Luna, Selene,
You are all things
Woman and life
Goddess and strife
Tales upon tales:
Your faces so pale.
Moon gazing tonight,
Darkness take fright.
Even cloud cover near
Illuminates fear
O rabbit, O man,
How lonely you land
On dusty magic
Life so fantastic.
O luminous eye
Way up in the sky.
We salute you this day
For guiding our way.
And the stories all told
Will gently unfold.

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Poetry at and about work

  • Aug. 22nd, 2008 at 2:17 AM
Resigned
It's a cacophony of noise
panic and calm, ringing, typing and talking.
Numbers, names and locations fly
laws consulted in a brief breath
A voice rises over the others -
"He's run into the street with a knife?"
tone such that I must smile
despite death's touch.
Information's squeezed out
like blood from a rock -
Frustration mounts.
Insanity of the world taken apart
and sorted. Tempers strain,
a baby's cries drown out its mother.
Pain flows through a phone
for a second; just a second
for compassion and then -
the river rushes onward.
Radios buss, with "Henry Zebra Boy."
Laughter breaks, sighs release;
Perhaps inappropriate,
but life-giving in lifting
up spirits and hearts.
Acceptance comes
amongst the filth of the world.
I'll take it Lord, and try to see
You in the beauty
of this symphony.

My thoughts move faster through poetry these days than prose, which is unfortunate for my main audience, but necessary for me to make it through the days.
Now you just have to guess what my job is. =) It may sound insane, but I've come to feel affection for it. And also boredom and hate and a whole flood of things I never expected when I first considered applying. It seems I'm to meet life head on this year, and in my lostness from the transition to something I can't rightfully call adulthood, I glory in the chaos of my work.

Love you guys (gals) and if I get time, I will post more on my stories. A full notebook is just waiting to be moved onto the computer.

Update

  • Aug. 9th, 2008 at 2:50 AM
Clever
I'm feeling lazy, so I'm not posting the new Regency chapters for Oddballs here - go to ff.net.
To summarize, Honey gets a girl (finally).
It's only been half a year since I got the idea.

'Leaves You Breathless'

  • Aug. 1st, 2008 at 11:19 PM
Happy
There's this great song about days going by without your noticing, until one day you look out the window and something there leaves you breathless and you suddenly realize it's been a while since you felt this, "but it feels like it might be hope."
That idea, that feeling of something jolting you out of the hum-drum existence is part of what I experienced today, driving out to the country. There's a tiny airport I have to pass on the way out to a friend's, and today it flew right over me, about to land. 
It brought the first smile of the day to my face.
Then, on the way back, I looked out the car window and realized I could see the stars. That never happens where I live, near downtown. 

However, I'm also forced to realize that my days are going to be boring for a while, because I'm training for my new job, and that takes up all my time and quite a bit of energy. 
I probably even need to start studying - which I've never had to do for a job before. 

But I keep dreaming of moments that will make life meaningful to me.

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A Lot Like Love

  • Jul. 29th, 2008 at 3:16 PM
Resigned
I've been splurging on romance movies this week: My Blueberry Nights (starring Nora Jones and Jude Law), Wall-E (yes, I count it), You've Got Mail, Pride and Prejudice, A Lot Like Love (which I will be buying once the money starts coming in), Mr. & Mrs. Smith, I.Q. and Mama Mia!

Interestingly enough, it hasn't made me love-sick, which is a good thing; too often, romantic tales make me feel my singleness oh-so-badly. 

All in all, I seem to have moved from devouring books to devouring movies. And all the writing I'm doing is not making it to the computer... 

(I start work in one day!)

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Wall-E

  • Jul. 20th, 2008 at 1:50 AM
Thoughtful

The above movie would be my new love, my heart's duet (I've seen Enchanted one too many times) and the next movie I will buy, however many months that will take. 

I can't put down here everything I loved about it; there's too much. However, I will say: Go.See.It.

We watched Miss Potter (I thought immediately 'Harry Potter?' when I glanced at the title) and I loved it. Great story, great acting, great touches, very sweet and tender. 

I'm slowly becoming convinced that only the English countryside will do for my home after my few years of gallivanting about are done. I want to live there, write there, and possibly raise my hypothetical children there.

And possibly meet a nice man... just kidding.

But the place is so beautiful, the homes so inviting... I'm sure these emotions will be coming out in my writing soon. I have so many chapters waiting to be posted, if I could just get my computer to work and convince my editing side to work at it. 

When You Taught Me How to Dance is a gem from the movie. Way to go Katie M, on putting words to the emotions I feel when I'm dancing.

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Backways and Alleys: New Love

  • Jul. 9th, 2008 at 12:41 AM
Happy
I've been wandering the back paths of the internet, finding out that artistry flourishes in all kinds of wonderful, little-known places. This one is a place I should have stumbled upon long ago - Andrew Peterson created the site, but the spirit of it is created by all the different artists who journal and contribute here. If you can, listen to the songs they offer. I really enjoyed Sandra McCracken's redone hymns; but all kinds of books and music are recommended. I'm eager to hear more, for sure. 
 
 
I first found Jason Gray through a Sara Groves song, and then Gray's site led me to The Rabbit Room. There I proceeded to wriggle like a puppy in joy, because this is the kind of artistry I adore, the kind of music that has been saving me from depression and the kind of people I want to someday work with.

I'll be listening to Downhere's album, called Wide-Eyed and Mystified for the next few days, and one by Ben Shive, who does all kinds of work with my favorite musicians; his own singing is different from his work for others, but I like it. It's called The Ill-Tempered Klavier, which he explains on the site is a joke about Bach, and the Well-Tempered Klavier, which was a collection of piano practices. I actually think I did some of them in my piano years.
 
These people are funny, serious, and all about breaking the mold. (I'm obviously in art-love with most of them now.) They are also great at opening their hearts and lives to the music they make, willing to go to the dirty and hard places to teach us all.
 
If you have more time, check out Any Gullahorn's lyrics. Blew me away. Wish I had money for his albums.
 
This one is a tribute to Peanuts. Very fun. Very brilliant.

Jul. 2nd, 2008

  • 4:23 PM
Resigned
If anyone actually pays attention to this, you must read Megan Whalen Turner's series about Eugenides (The Thief, The Queen of Attolia and The King of Attolia). I haven't read a better trilogy in years, though getting through Trickster's Choice and Trickster's Queen came close - still, Attolia and Eugenides can't be beaten, even by such characters as the great Pierce comes up with. They're so complex and twisted and... yes, I'll shut up now. Just go read.

My list for this week:
Tamora Pierce's Trickster set
These Old Shades - Georgette Heyer
Arabella - Heyer
The Quest for the Fair Unknown - Gerald Morris
A Knot in the Grain - Robin McKinley
Travelling Mercies - Anne Lamott
Rose Cottage - Mary Stewart

My roommate comments that I'm tearing through books, which is ultimately true. I'm just storing up for the time when I'll be working. =D

Plots and Falling In Love

  • Jun. 26th, 2008 at 10:37 PM
Serious Thoughts

Just finished reading The King of Attolia ~ unfortunately, I did not read The Thief or The Queen of Attolia first, though having met both characters, I want (need) to go back and read the others to get a better look into their heads. I first put this book on my must-read list because it was recommended as one of the few married romances out there, and I fully agree with the idea that married romance can be just as spectacular as love-leading-to-marriage. (In this case, I would say it exceeds even other favorites of mine.)

However, what several of my favorite authors have pointed out is that the best romances, the ones we return to and the ones that stay with us, are those that come alongside the adventure, and are not the adventure itself. I nodded sagely the first time I read this opinion, and I still nod, but with distinct awe, for those authors who can pull such stories off. 

For example, though Georgette Heyer is seen as the mother of Regency romance novels, very often there is little actual romance in her books. It took me longer than it should have to realize this. There are mysteries and mistakes and folly, usually tied up in brilliant plots that have the hero and heroine separated, misunderstanding or hating each other for a good portion of the book. And yet it's no surprise when those same characters find their moment at the very last page, and really, that's all we need to be satisfied. 

The same can be said of nearly every fairy tale I own, which is why I own them, though as I said, it's taken me years to realize this is why.

Anyways, what started me down this path was actually Jane Austen, and my continued thoughts about how conversation is what really moves a relationship (romantic or not) along. Regency Buck, one of Heyer's masterpieces, contains so many lines that kept tickling at my brain that I had to conclude that despite the very different characters and very different plot, Heyer definitely meant it as an accolade to Austen. Though I can't pinpoint every line she echoed, it was enough to make me pause and consider which book it must have been taken from. Pride and Prejudice figured firmly in many of the character's fights, insults and retorts the likes of which Darcy would have flinched from. Judith, however, is rich where Elizabeth is poor, and the couple has a very different kind of restraint to hold them back from a lover's relationship.

I'll end my thoughts on this here, and give you the other books I have consumed in the last day; each was a pearl that I dug through both lists and a tiny library for.

Keturah and Lord Death by Martine Leavitt (this woman has talent)
The Savage Damsel and the Dwarf by Gerald Morris (I plan on reading all of his Arthurian tales)
Faro's Daughter by Georgette Heyer
Regency Buck by Heyer
The King of Attolia by Megan Whalen Turner
The Chronicles of Chrestomanci by Dianne Wynn Jones (a little strange if you're not used to her)

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Sensibility Overwhelmed

  • Jun. 25th, 2008 at 7:06 PM
Regency!Ouran
So, I recently watched Sense and Sensibility, and I'd forgotten how much I love the movie (and how much potential there is for fanfiction!)  So here is my version of Marianne's story, a character I always underrated and disliked in the face of Elinor's sense and sacrifice. I'll begin right before her marriage to Colonel Brandon, and end some time after it. 

All characters and text used are the property of Jane Austen and Dell Publishing Co. (1959).

Chapter 1 )

Reading List

  • Jun. 25th, 2008 at 1:29 AM
Hot nerd
I can only  imagine that the few who read this are voracious readers, like myself. (At least I hope, if stretching my imagination doesn't work well enough). 

It's so nice to find people who share your tastes in reading, who you know you can trust with book recommendations (yes Sara, I do mean you, though Sarah is also a favorite with me, as our shelves are nearly identical ~ I'm afraid you really can't claim that, though it's not to your discredit, hon), and who you can trust with your books. 

(I've concluded I am too nice with who gets to borrow; just today I realized that two of my favorite finds have been borrowed for over two years, at least - what are the chances of my getting them back? Not very good. And they're several hours away. Urgh.)

But more than having nice real-life friends to recommend books to, the internet has opened up my favorite author's favorite book lists. Perhaps it seems I'm late on the draw here, but I always knew they existed, but avoided them on the semi-conscious knowledge that my outside life would come to a screeching halt if I didn't watch myself.

And yet, now that is where I have come to rest, and to despair of ever finishing the task set before me ~ to read every good book out there.

Of course I know, realistically, that it's impossible to read everything in the world; in fact, I don't want to. Reading The Odyssey three times was more than enough, though someday I'll read it to my children, and Arabian Nights is not as scandalous as what they sell in the romance section these days, but I've got to save my money for those necessary things like food and shelter, and I have long lists of books my fingers (and my credit card) are itching to buy. Nevermind that I haven't yet read them; the recommendations (i.e. recommendors) are enough to ensure that the few that make it into my tiny book of... books are keepers. (I won't mind losing my money when I die, but I'm going to hate leaving behind the books). 

However, my most recent buys were ones I have read, and long ago decided I needed to own, when the price was right. So the recommendations continue (Sara, you better read at least one my recommendations this summer).

Daughter of the Forest, by Juliet Marillier
The Weather of the Heart, by Madeleine L'Engle (poetry)
Royal Palaces, editor M. Morelli (photos and facts)
(got free!!)

That last has been a trial to read; not only is the information about the palaces a little dry, the words are tiny. It seems ridiculous for that to be so, but perhaps the editor believes people will only be looking at the pictures, which isn't too far a stretch. 

At the same time, I'm getting ideas. Ideas about stories that could occur in these palaces, and in the golden halls and lacquered chambers, and this isn't my time period, nor my kind of characters!

On the other hand, I'm also fantasizing a lot, about myself in those hallways, weighted down with skirts and puffed sleeves and shawls, or whatever-else was required back then. (I seriously need a sewing machine ~ I would be willing to put the work into making those dresses ~ I'll do one for you Sara, so that we can be silly old biddies together).

Oh, and Brittany agrees with me - we shall have an Austenland day at our bed-and-breakfast. I.E. Get to your research, woman!

Edit: I'm also trying to read The Bacchae and Other Plays by Euripides. I'm out of school - what do I think I'm doing?

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Recommendations, of a sort

  • Jun. 16th, 2008 at 4:00 PM
Soldiers
Okay, I have to admit it, I've become terrified, sometime in the last four years, that I'm never going to marry. Never going to experience love, never going to find that (semi) perfect someone, never even going to have a man look at me as if I'm special.

Twenty-two years of only my daddy telling me I'm the prettiest ~ and though Dad needs to be there for those adolescent years of uncertainty, you girls all know the truth ~ he's Dad, so of course you're the most beautiful daughter. Heck, he can't even say 'most beautiful girl,' because there's Mom for that.

Anyways, this is all to say that I bought and read Shannon Hale's Austenland today, and it hit me in the gut. I'm sure on any other occasion, when I'm being less self-aware, it would be lovely and warm my heart, but oh-dear-goodness, Jane is me, ten or eleven years down the road.

Yet at the same time as I recognize this, I'm also given a glimpse of hope, because I haven't waited twenty-two years to settle, and even if all the 'good ones' are being picked up by less-deserving girls (as a study suggested), there's going to be at least one man someday who has hoped for one serious love, and life, and marriage (and everything that comes with it), and will be just as thrilled to meet me, who's been waiting (and waiting, and waiting... etc.) for him.

I just, you know, have to have faith, which has been completely lacking in recent times.

So for those who are rolling their eyes at yet another Jane-Austen fanatic who is determined to wait for her version of Mr. Darcy, *pffffft* to you, though I do hope you find love as well. But until then, go read Austenland. You won't regret it.

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Feb. 24th, 2008

  • 7:16 PM
Clever
It's nice to be reminded, every now and then, that there are guys who are willing to help you cook and clean after a meal. I say that because my father and brother would never voluntarily think to offer help, and yet two college-aged men not only brought dessert for the meal I made, but offered to help clean the dishes. 

Yeah. You can just tell me the last time that happened to you.

So I went into a 3 hour car-wash quite pleased, despite the fact that I haven't had a moment to slow down all weekend. And now I must go and talk about philosophy and ethics...

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